Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Wondering 'How Do I Get My Ex Back?' Stop Right Now and Answer This Question

As you sit and ponder over what you need to do to "get my ex back", realize that if you are not sure what to do, you are certainly not alone in that respect. Thousands who have lost the one they love or are facing a broken relationship often compound the problem by continuing to make even more mistakes on top of those that led to the break up.

The huge risk here, of course, is that you may well drive a bigger wedge between you have even less of a chance of getting back with your ex. This is not an easy time I know, full of kinds of emotions from a feeling of loss and despair to being angry and frustrated.

As difficult as it may be, the hard fact is that when we allow our emotions to dictate our actions, it is highly unlikely that we will get the results we desire. So, think carefully about this. If you are still in love with your ex and not just peeved because he or she walked out on you instead of you "dumping them", and the relationship is definitely worth saving, what can you do to succeed with "how to get my ex back"?

Stop right now and ask yourself "How am I feeling"?

Does it still really hurt? Are you quite calm about the situation or not?

Perhaps the break up was quite amicable but you now realize that you miss your ex more than you thought you would. But, what if the break up was particularly harsh and painful for both parties?

What I am getting at is that if was tough both you and your ex are going to need time and space. Never make decisions based purely on emotion. I would never suggest that you go chasing after your ex as a way to get your ex back and especially when emotions are still sky high and both of you are still feeling rather tender.

Take it from one who knows, giving yourself time and space is a wise move. You may think that you are running away from the problems or the challenges in getting back together but you are not. You are giving yourself and your ex the best chance of understanding what had happened and if anything can be done to rectify it.

Never act in the heat of the moment. Maybe you or your ex has and that is why you have broken up. However, all is not necessarily lost.

Use the time and space constructively. Do other things, spend time with friends and family, just don't mope around, dwelling on what went wrong. Having said that, use the time to understand what went wrong and why. What part did you play that led up to the separation? Could you have done anything differently?

Bottom line is that you need to know that your ex is at least willing to consider getting back together so you better have some answers. Even if there were faults on both sides, and there usually are, your job is to focus on sorting yourself out. Don't try to impose your will on your ex because you will make matters worse.

Be smart and take the route of least resistance. Take time to think things through, understand how you contributed to splitting up and take the necessary action to fix it. Then, when ready, start communicating with your ex in a positive, non-blaming manner and start to rebuild the relationship.

Now you have the answer to "how do I get my ex back". It's time to do something about it.

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